Wordless Wednesday - what are you doing on laptop mummy?

This is the face that watched me while I was thinking about what to blog today.

I think it says it all.

Wordless Wednesday

Emotions-Love v's Anger

For this weeks writing post for Sticky Fingers the gallery on Emotions I have chosen the two I probably feel the most on a day to day basis.

These pictures are of all the people/animals who live in my house and who I love more than life itself but also who send me nuts with anger on a daily basis.




I love you more than life.

You make me really mad.

I love to be needed by you.

Why cant you do it yourselves?

I love when you crave my attention.

When will I ever get 'my' time?

I love to help you grow and become better people.

Why cant you see the need to be better?

You are all my world!

Wordless Wednesday

My favourite Photo of the boy at the beach so far. It says it all.

My Favourite Creature of all Time

Penguins!!!! Pure and simply I am besotted by penguins.

When we go to the zoo I spend endless amounts of time at the enclosure watching them swim and waddle around. I love love love one of the ones at Edinburgh zoo who is so tame it comes up to the fence and puts its beak to your fingers through the bars and is sooooo gentle.

I have a cuddly penguin I take to bed at night that my Hubby bought me the first ever time we went to the zoo together when we were dating. Its old and scruffy now with its beak and feet hanging off but I still love it.

I cant wait to get back to the zoo this year in August when we meet with friends but mostly to see my beloved penguins.

The Garden -so far

Previously on here you may have seen my post about my garden and how it was my new project, and the project continues. Its really taking shape and I love it.

Here's some more photos of it as it is now.

There's still a bit of work to do. I need more pots and patio plants and also I'm wanting to take away the grass outside the shed door and replace it with Japanese green stones like I have in some areas already. Fence needs repainted as Ive replaced a few damaged panels and the shed will be painted the same colour. Then I shall be done.

Hubby has been very sensible and says only so much can be spent each month on it and right now I'm well over budget so no more till next month then i hope to get it finished and I cant wait.

Motherhood- Gallery Post

In response to Tara Cains Gallery prompt this week I'm writing about what motherhood means to me. In this photo it means 'harmony'. They are my harmony and happiness and without either of them I don't have these in my life. Its taken me a long time to get here but that's what motherhood means to me now.

First time round 12 years ago I had my Daughter. By the time she was born I was single and terrified. First time round it meant severe Post Natal Depression and fear. Fear of everything. Fear of not loving my child, fear of losing my child, fear of the unknown, fear of meeting someone and them wanting another child and fear of my future with this child. She was beautiful, perfect and text book but i still couldn't understand how I was supposed to do this motherhood thing alone. It took me 4 years to even accept that this was my life and all I had to do was love her and do my best by her.

It took me 11 years to pluck up the courage to go through it again and I had my son. When he was born I was married to my lovely husband and I was excited if a bit apprehensive. Second time round, again it meant mild Post Natal Depression which I have battled everyday since he was born but am winning against. There was no fear, no uncertainty of my future and no panic about any more babies, just an overwhelming sense of this is my life/job and its the best one in the world. I love it.

Since he was born motherhood has meant Love. Intense, overwhelming, out of this world love, for both my kids. He made me open my eyes up to what an amazing, talented and gorgeous baby girl I have too. She might be nearly my height and turning into a stunning young lady but shes still that baby I found so hard to be a mother to but now it feels so natural. Shes wonderful with the little one and will herself make an amazing mother one day of which I am very proud.

Motherhood is the best thing that's ever happened to me and I hope I'm blessed with more kiddies and I do the best job I can forever as their 'Mummy'.

Poor Sick Baby

Oh my poor little man is sickly. Hes had a snuffle since last Saturday and he has gotten progressively worse. I put it down to hay fever for the first few days as he had the red eyes and a runny nose but was still on good form. He was a bit unsettled at night so we gave him Calpol and it seemed to help him sleep a bit but he was so stuffed up. Then last night after a long day in Glasgow he deteriorated very quickly. It was scary.

He started a really chesty cough around bedtime and was choking and making himself sick coughing. He couldn't eat for choking and coughing or drink, so it became scary quickly. I eventually settled him and he slept through but with alot of choking and coughing again. The room was doused in albas oil and he was smothered in Vapor rub but to be frank I don't think any of it worked at all.

I have a fear. I deep rooted scary fear, after Sophie being very ill with her asthma around the same age as Caleb and almost stopping breathing in her sleep. She was rushed by ambulance blue and lifeless at 6am in the morning to the hospital where they put her on an oxygen mask and nebuliser for a week and also pumped her lungs full of steroids. She was terrified and so was I. They treated her very dismissively at the hospital and didn't even make me a bed to stay with my baby. I had to sleep in a chair in the visitors lounge or on her bed and never had a shower or food for the week. I had to rely on my parents to take a shift and bring me food so I could pop home and shower. I remember thinking I really would lose her and no one in the horrid hospital would care or help.

So this morning after a bit of an assessment of the boy I decided to get an emergency doctors visit for the late morning today and she said he had Bronchitis and needed an antibiotic. I think it was just in time too as after his nap today he seemed alot worse again. Tonight hes improving after his 3rd dose of medicine and ate dinner and drank alot of juice.

I feel relief and really hope hes on the mend as I really felt the panic building this morning again.

Maybe I worry too much second time round or maybe not enough. I never know where the balance is with little ones and illness. Some people seem to just take it all in their stride and carry on as normal. I wish I was a bit more like it sometimes.

The World Cup - How do you like yours??

I'm not too sure about the whole World Cup carry on this time round. I do love my football, and was quite excited about the prospect of it until my favourite footballer Didier Drogba was injured on Friday and ruled out of the first round games with a broken elbow. I like to pick a team to support and watch those games. I'm not so mad about the game that I'll watch every game on the TV for the next month.

As Scotland have a horrific team in my eyes, I usually support England and cheer them on, we're all British in my eyes after all, but this time round I thought I'd cheer on Ivory Coast and see my lovely man all in one go. But, its not to be!! I'm also a supporter of the Chelsea player Kalou tho and he also plays for Ivory Coast so may watch some matches. Of course I will cheer England on too and I hope the boys do well.

The amount of injuries in this World Cup has been mad and I think a lot of teams may be struggling without some top players. To be honest though I wish all the teams and players well and lets just hope for a fun, entertaining and good world cup all round.

Hope you all enjoy!!

To Big Brother or not to Big Brother?

Well, here we go again. Its that time of year and the new and final series of Big Brother. Do we watch or do we not???? That's been the question in our house this week.

I haven't missed a series until last year. We watched the first two episodes last year and then gave up. I hate it when they pick people who are just too out there, and i also hate when they mess around with the house and housemates too much. My favourite series of all time was he first Big Brother. They were all pretty down to earth and I found it fascinating watching normalish people just living day to day in a small enclosed environment together.

The first two series were so the best from that point of view. As soon as they started divided the house in series 3 I found bits I disliked about the show and it gradually grated on me until last year I gave up. So, do I watch this year or not? Hubby and I have debated, and have decided that simply for the reason that its the last one that we will give it a week and see how we get on but will switch off its truly hideous.

Will you be watching?

Social Networking and True Friends

I have a question! Are the friends we make online true friends and how do we know they are? I do!

Twitter has to be considered a phenomenon doesn't it? We go online and chat to people we've never met, but some we truly hope to someday. I have made 2 or 3 true friends who i have met now more than once and have liked every one of them. So how do we know when we are chatting to people which ones would make good friends for us? Is it really any different to meeting someone in a new job and going for a coffee before we really know them, or meeting a fellow mummy at the school gate and hitting it off straight away? I've made true friends in my day to day 'real life' that way, who have remained in my life through thick and thin.

So what makes it so hard for the non twitter believers to grasp? I'm sure like any other networking site it has people who aren't as they seem but dont we meet people like that all through our lives on a day to day basis??

Am I too trusting? Every person I have given my email to or text regularly from twitter I trust. Most of them are there for chats and advice anytime and I count myself very lucky to have met such nice people.

So maybe I wont question the 'true friends' Ive made in life and how or where i made them but just appreciate every single one of them for their good points.

Have you made any friends on twitter or other social networking sites you have made a 'true' lifelong,( hopefully) friend of and how do you sort the wheat from the chaff?????

THE FULL STORY OF THE TATTOO

As mentioned in a previous blog post, I went with my hubby this week to get a tattoo on my hairline. This is the story of how it came about and what it represents for me.

I have always fancied a tattoo. When we got engaged, hubby treated me to a gorgeous engagement ring after proposing outside the jewellers, and I treated him to a tattoo. He got the Chinese symbol for eternity on his right shoulder. I really wanted one too but was too chicken in the tattoo place and didn't get it done. Since then hubby has gone on to have another two on his left arm which are our names in Hindu but its a project unfinished as he wants the kids added on too at some point.

Anyway, for a while Ive been regretting not getting it done but wasn't sure what i wanted done, then last week I decided I wanted to have stars, one for each child as I'm always saying they re my little stars. So on Monday Hubby took me to a place nearby that he knows of and I had it done. The guy sat me down discussed what I wanted and why and was very understanding of my fear. He guided me through the whole process and in the end it didn't hurt one bit. I was actually enjoying it. I was told to keep it clean and dry for a week and then we left. With it being on the back of my neck I'm the only one who hasn't had a good look at it. Typical, this photo is the only way Ive seen it.

Its healing now and really hasn't caused me any problems at all, but then my mum hasn't seen it yet and I'm hoping wont for some time. Eek. Shes not a fan of any tattoos, but its done now and i love it.

I'm hoping its not finished yet. Id really like another baby at some point so would add another star then I hope to finish it with Chinese symbol on my hubby's back under the finished stars.

If I had any advice for someone thinking about it I'd Say, be 100% sure of what you want and go for it. I cant wait for my next one.

My Week, My Fun

Its been a super busy week this week.

Firstly, I had a lovely friend up from England for a few days. There were a few bottles of wine consumed, a lovely seafood platter eaten in gorgeous surroundings and a bbq to finish off her visit and a lovely week with great company.

On Monday I snuck off with my Hubby and got a tattoo consisting of two tiny stars under my hairline to represent my lovely kiddies. Its still healing but i love it. I was terrified it'd hurt before hand but in the end it was fine and i loved the experience. I must be mad but cant wait to get another tiny one hopefully if god blesses me with another bubba at some point.

As always my kiddies kept me on the hop and in the kitchen. They eat me out of house and home, but aint they cute about it?

Today I went up to see my parents as it was my dads 66th birthday. The Photo is of my sister who is 18 weeks pregnant with her second baby and my mum. It was a lovely day and my nephew was on great form and good fun.

I'm hoping to get down to some serious blogging this week and stop all the frivolities.